Heart strokes Watercolor

Foreword The writing of this testimony has been a strangely exciting process. From the beginning I kept a journal. My quiet time notebooks have also been like a journal because I kept a record of what I was praying for. Several people told me to write our story. Our prayer team at church has been praying for guidance in this matter. At a Christian Woman's Club After Five meeting, I got the definite feeling that the Holy Spirit was telling me to write about our experiences. After that meeting, four ladies came up to me and said that they hoped someday that I would tell my story. I had cold chills, as I felt that was a confirmation to my thoughts. As I looked through an old notebook of devotions, I found an entry written after I read Psalm 18. Verse 28 tells us, "For You will light my lamp: the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness." My prayer was, "Thank You for both types of darkness--first for the darkness of night when we can rest, sleep, and prepare our bodies for the blessings of a bright new day, also for the darkness that I think this verse speaks of, when the darkness is like midnight. We may not be able to sleep or rest because of trying circumstances. Lord I know trying circumstances can be profitable to us and to others as they see us emerge in the morning with the joy of Your peace, and a renewed thankfulness for Your presence. We soon find that our experiences can be used to encourage others. As others enter their midnight, we can assure them that we walked through that kind of darkness and can assure them that God was faithful to us." As I began to write, I realized that this is not my effort. All that is needed from me seems to be my fingers because the words came to my mind in such a steady, even flow that I should be credited only with the mistakes. I continue to pray that God will use my efforts in some way. Harold stopped me several times to say with his usual dry wit, "Do you want me to get some water to cool off the keyboard?" Then he suggested that he could write this story much quicker than I because "what I remember is mostly a big blank." The thing that I hear most often from this man who was so active and enjoyed his work and leisure time so much is, "If our situation can help anyone to know God better, then it is an honor to be in this circumstance." Sometimes I would be so overcome with grief, fear, and helplessness that I would cry out to the Lord with a song from the Psalms. It started with, "Unto thee, oh Lord, do I lift up my soul, Let me not be ashamed, let not my enemies triumph over me." Every time I sing those words or silently repeat them in a crowd, God will lift me up and minister to my soul. He changes my helplessness into hope, my grief into joy and my fear into peace. I have learned by experience that there is no problem that He cannot conquer once we release it to Him. As problems pile up it is not difficult to release them; in fact, I run to Him. He has never failed to show me his mercy and love.